An explanation
for the absence of any "snapshots of arusha" in the last month.
The next few blogs may be slightly different from what you are used to getting from me. To those that came to New Orleans with me, where my life as a blogger was conceived and thrived, you watched/read as blogging became a pleasurable highly addictive drug. Arusha is not the same and should this disappoint you, stop reading NOW!
The lack of daily antidotes has been simply because I did not want you to think that my experiences here were all negative. I wanted to share an experience with you that would not lead you down the same path of insomnia that has become an acceptable fate! (Anyone know where I can score some Valium? Only kidding!) The last 5 weeks have been turbulent to say the least as I grapple with the loss of friends, my urban family being very far away (plus a sense of hopeless frustration at not being able to do anything for those not very happy), encountering head on my family’s very complicated and recently acquired dysfunctional behaviour, accepting certain indigestible truths about the current status of my love life, “living-breathing-sleeping” genocide, dealing with a civil service run by ‘relas,’ feeling constantly paranoid at work (unwelcome, unwanted and incomprehensible feeling!) and rather uncharacteristically asking “What the F! am I doing with my life!” on a daily basis. I think all higher beings have now transferred my calls directly to voice mail!
However it has been brought to my attention several times in the last two days that, uncharacteristic though it may be, it is still an experience. Life apparently is not always going to be fun, entertaining, stimulating or interesting…..DAMN! The only reason I feel nostalgic for the past, and in particular the most recent, is because I have been blessed with the most amazing experiences (professionally and personally) of my life over the last 10 years. This should not prevent me from sharing, simply because it may not be agreeable to my “readers” or even to myself. And anyway, it is no longer just for my mother. In any case, she gets blow by blow feedback in person on a fortnightly basis! So you have been warned. Posts from henceforth may not make sense, may seem terribly angry or comfortably fit into the “slit my wrist now with a blunt spoon” category (or even, if I am on really good form......all of the above!)
But before I re-kindle my long overdue relationship with this very friendly keyboard, I must stress - I am OK! It is "just a phase I am going through!" ;-)
The next few blogs may be slightly different from what you are used to getting from me. To those that came to New Orleans with me, where my life as a blogger was conceived and thrived, you watched/read as blogging became a pleasurable highly addictive drug. Arusha is not the same and should this disappoint you, stop reading NOW!
The lack of daily antidotes has been simply because I did not want you to think that my experiences here were all negative. I wanted to share an experience with you that would not lead you down the same path of insomnia that has become an acceptable fate! (Anyone know where I can score some Valium? Only kidding!) The last 5 weeks have been turbulent to say the least as I grapple with the loss of friends, my urban family being very far away (plus a sense of hopeless frustration at not being able to do anything for those not very happy), encountering head on my family’s very complicated and recently acquired dysfunctional behaviour, accepting certain indigestible truths about the current status of my love life, “living-breathing-sleeping” genocide, dealing with a civil service run by ‘relas,’ feeling constantly paranoid at work (unwelcome, unwanted and incomprehensible feeling!) and rather uncharacteristically asking “What the F! am I doing with my life!” on a daily basis. I think all higher beings have now transferred my calls directly to voice mail!
However it has been brought to my attention several times in the last two days that, uncharacteristic though it may be, it is still an experience. Life apparently is not always going to be fun, entertaining, stimulating or interesting…..DAMN! The only reason I feel nostalgic for the past, and in particular the most recent, is because I have been blessed with the most amazing experiences (professionally and personally) of my life over the last 10 years. This should not prevent me from sharing, simply because it may not be agreeable to my “readers” or even to myself. And anyway, it is no longer just for my mother. In any case, she gets blow by blow feedback in person on a fortnightly basis! So you have been warned. Posts from henceforth may not make sense, may seem terribly angry or comfortably fit into the “slit my wrist now with a blunt spoon” category (or even, if I am on really good form......all of the above!)
But before I re-kindle my long overdue relationship with this very friendly keyboard, I must stress - I am OK! It is "just a phase I am going through!" ;-)
posted by Snapshots of ... at 11:36 AM
2 Comments:
Hey there.. don't despair! We all have days where we go "what the f! am I doing?" Keep going.. you're doing terrific work in Arusha. We haven't spoken in a long time but have caught up with your activities in your blog. Keep up the great work.. you're a source of inspiration!
@S: I need an email address as I am sure the one I have is not working. Need to touch base again. Miss you desperately woman!
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